29 January 2006

Children's Science Exam Answers

If you need a laugh, read through these Children's Science Exam Answers. These are real answers given by children.

Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.

Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.

A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.

Q: How is dew formed?

A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.

Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?

A: Keep it in the cow.

Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?

A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature hates a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.

Q: What are steroids?

A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.

Q: What happens to your body as you age?

A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get inter-continental.

Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?

A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.

Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.

A: Premature death.

Q: What is artificial insemination?

A: When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow.

Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? (e.go., abdomen.)

A: The body is consisted into three parts--- the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain; the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels, A, E, I, O, and U.

Q: What is the fibula?

A: A small lie.

Q: What does "varicose" mean?

A: Nearby.

Q: Give the meaning of the term "Caesarean Section"

A: The Caesarean Section is a district in Rome.

Q: What does the word "benign" mean?'
A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.

I saw this on a blog at http://www.care2.com and laughed until I remembered that these were actual answers from a science exam. These kids were being serious when giving these answers. So to the kids, there is nothing funny about it. When I go back and look at it, I see that our education system needs help. President Jimmy Carter, the only president I can think of who actually received the Nobel Peace Prize, started the Department of Education, just to have President Ronald Reagan, soon after beating President Jimmy Carter in the presidental election, decide that education was a state issue instead of a federal issue. Personally, I think President Ronald Reagan was wrong, and our (as in American) children are suffering for it. And since the children are literally our future, then as a result, all of America is suffering for it. As in health care, it seems that education is relevant as to how much money a person has.

The scenerio in the country is starting to remind me of Aldous Huxley's Brave New World. For anyone who has not read the book, this website may help you understand what I am referring to: http://www.huxley.net/

No comments:

Post a Comment