30 April 2005

You are My Sunshine, My only Sunshine

A friend emailed this story to me, and it brought tears to my eyes.

You are My Sunshine, My only Sunshine

Like any good mother, when Karen found out that another baby was on the way, she did what she could to help her 3-year-old son, Michael, prepare for a new sibling.

They found out that the new baby was going be a girl, and day after day, night after night, Michael sang to his sister in mommy's tummy. He was building a bond of love with his little sister before he even met her.

The pregnancy progressed normally for Karen, an active member of the Church

In time, the labor pains came. Soon it was every five minutes, every three, every minute.

But serious complications arose during delivery and Karen found herself in hours of labor.

Would a C-section be required? Finally, after a long struggle, Michael's little sister was born. But she was in very serious condition.

With a siren howling in the night, the ambulance rushed the infant to the neonatal intensive care unit at St. Mary's Hospital, Knoxville, Tennessee. The days inched by. The little girl got worse. The pediatrician had to tell the parents there is very little hope.

Be prepared for the worst.

Karen and her husband contacted a local cemetery about a burial plot. They had fixed up a special room in their house for their new baby but now they found themselves having to plan for a funeral.

Michael, however, kept begging his parents to let him see his sister. I want to sing to her, he kept saying. Week two in intensive care looked as if a funeral would come before the week was over. Michael kept nagging about singing to his sister, but kids are never allowed in Intensive Care. Karen decided to take Michael whether they liked it or not. If he didn't see his sister right then, he may never see her alive. She dressed him in an oversized scrub suit and marched him into ICU. He looked like a walking laundry basket. The head nurse recognized him as a child and bellowed, "Get that kid out of here now. No children are allowed."

The mother rose up strong in Karen, and the usually mild-mannered lady glared steel-eyed right into the head nurse's face, her lips a firm line. "He is notleaving until he sings to his sister" she stated.

Then Karen towed Michael to his sister's bedside. He gazed at the tiny infant losing the battle to live. After a moment, he began to sing. In the pure-hearted voice of a 3-year-old, Michael sang: "You are my sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy when skies are gray." Instantly the baby girl seemed to respond. The pulse rate began to calm down and become steady.

"Keep on singing, Michael," encouraged Karen with tears in her eyes.

"You never know, dear, how much I love you, please don't take my sunshine away."

As Michael sang to his sister, the baby's ragged, strained breathing became as smooth as a kitten's purr. "Keep on singing, sweetheart." "The other night, dear, as I lay sleeping, I dreamed I held you in my arms". Michael's little sister began to relax as rest, healing rest, seemed to sweep over her.

"Keep on singing, Michael." Tears had now conquered the face of the bossy head nurse. Karen glowed.

"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. Please don't take my sunshine away..."

The next day...the very next day...the little girl was well enough to go home. Woman's Day Magazine called it The Miracle of a Brother's Song. The medical staff just called it a miracle.


The Cats' Bill of Rights

A friend emailed this to me:

The Cats' Bill of Rights

Humans shall make no law respecting an establishment of boundaries or prohibiting the free exercise therein, or abridging the freedom of access, or the right to peaceful assembly. In other words: The cat is entitled to go outside anytime she/he wants.

A well-carried provisional chamber, being necessary to the fulfillment of a feline's whims, shall not be infringed. In other words: The cat is entitled to EAT anytime s/he wants.

The right of the feline to be secure in their domain, and effects, against unreasonable discomposure, shall not be violated. In other words: The cat is entitled to SLEEP anytime s/he wants.

Humans shall issue no warrants or decrees or edicts as prescribed to the demarcation of possessions or property which are in direct conflict with right of life, liberty, and the pursuit of feline affirmation. In other words: The cat is entitled to sleep ANYWHERE s/he wants.

The feline shall be immune to all criminal accusations, indictments, and complaints. The accused shall enjoy the right to a speedy and impartial dismissal of any and all charges provided said feline's compulsory right to obtain any or all witnesses, including character witnesses, are obtained in his favor. In other words: Cats can do anything they want as long as they're cute.

Neither serfdom, vassalage, or involuntary servitude will be tolerated, except by said cats in proprietorship of their humans. In other words: What I say goes. (And I can sleep on your face...)

No Canis familiaris shall, in time of peace or at any other time, be quartered in any dwelling without the consent of the potentate, nor in time of war, but in a manner to be prescribed by sovereign. In other words: No dogs in the house without my permission.

The right of the feline to be protected against unreasonable search and seizures shall not be breached or infringed upon at any time or any place. In other words: Don't disturb me when I am sleeping in a drawer.

28 April 2005

A hundred years ago

This was sent to me by a friend and it speaks volumes.

What a difference a century makes!

Here are some of the U.S. statistics for 1905:

The average life expectancy in the U.S. was 47 years.

Only 14 percent of the homes in the U.S. had a bathtub.

Only 8 percent of the homes had a telephone.

A three-minute call from Denver to New York City cost eleven dollars.

There were only 8,000 cars in the U.S., and only 144 miles of paved roads.

The maximum speed limit in most cities was 10 mph.

Alabama, Mississippi, Iowa, and Tennessee were each more heavily populated than California.

With a mere 1.4 million residents, California was only the 21st most populous state in the Union.

The tallest structure in the world was the Eiffel Tower.

The average wage in the U.S. was 22 cents an hour.

The average U.S. worker made between $200 and $400 per year.

More than 95 percent of all births in the U.S. took place at home.

Ninety percent of all U.S. physicians had no college education. Instead, they attended medical schools, many of which were condemned in the press and by the government as "substandard."

Sugar cost four cents a pound. Eggs were fourteen cents a dozen.

Coffee was fifteen cents a pound.

Most women only washed their hair once a month, and used borax or egg yolks for shampoo.

Canada passed a law prohibiting poor people from entering the country for any reason.

The five leading causes of death in the U.S. were:
1. Pneumonia and influenza
2. Tuberculosis
3. Diarrhea
4. Heart disease
5. Stroke

The American flag had 45 stars. Arizona, Oklahoma, New Mexico, Hawaii, and Alaska hadn't been admitted to the Union yet.

The population of Las Vegas, Nevada, was 30.

Crossword puzzles, canned beer, and iced tea hadn't been invented.

There was no Mother's Day or Father's Day.

Two of 10 U.S. adults couldn't read or write.

Only 6 percent of all Americans had graduated high school.

Marijuana, heroin, and morphine were all available over the counter at corner drug stores.

According to one pharmacist, "Heroin clears the complexion, gives buoyancy to the mind, regulates the stomach and bowels, and is, in fact, a perfect guardian of health."

Eighteen percent of households in the US had at least one full-time servant or domestic.

There were only about 230 reported murders in the entire US.

Try to imagine what it may be like in another 100 years ....it staggers the mind.

Here are a few projections

In another Hundred years

At the present growth rate of 0.92% the population (294 million) will increase by almost 2.5 times its current size. That means there will be over 732 million people in the United States

The current life expectancy of 77.43 years will increase to 127.56 years if it increases at the same rate as the past 100 years

Based upon the current Government figures the average hourly income in the US of $14.83 per hour would increase to $999.68 per hour if it experiences the same growth rate as the last 100 years.

The average person would change their career field 15 times over their lifetime.

At current growth rates 100% will graduate from High School 82% will have a college degree and 53% at least one advanced degree.

The average retirement age of 65 yrs old would increase to 107 yrs old.

And if we continued to pave roads at the same rate all of North America would be a parking lot.

The Frog's Skin / Georgia Folklore

A friend emailed this story to me. It is definitely worth reading.:-)

The Frog's Skin / Georgia Folklore

There were once three brothers who wished to marry. They said, "Let us each shoot an arrow, and each shall take his wife from the place where the arrow falls." They shot their arrows; those of the two elder brothers fell on noblemen's houses, while the youngest brother's arrow fell in a lake. The two elder brothers led home their noble wives, and the youngest went to the shore of the lake. He saw a frog creep out of the lake and sit down upon a stone. He took it up and carried it back to the house. All the brothers came home with what fate had given them; the elder brothers with the noble maidens, and the youngest with a frog.

The brothers went out to work. The wives prepared the dinner and attended to all their household duties. The frog sat by the fire croaking, and its eyes glittered. Thus they lived together a long time in love and harmony.

At last the sisters-in-law wearied of the sight of the frog. When they swept the house, they threw out the frog with the dust. If the youngest brother found it, he took it up in his hand; if not, the frog would leap back to its place by the fire and begin to croak. The noble sisters did not like this, and said to their husbands, "Drive this frog out, and get a real wife for your brother." Every day the brothers bothered the youngest.

He replied, saying, "This frog is certainly my fate. I am worthy of no better. I must be faithful to it." His sisters-in-law persisted in telling their husbands that the brother and his frog must be sent away, and at last they agreed.

The young brother was now left quite desolate. There was no one to make his food, no one to stand watching at the door. For a short time a neighboring woman came to wait upon him, but she had not time, so he was left alone. The man became very melancholy.

Once when he was thinking sadly of his loneliness, he went to work. When he had finished his day's labor, he went home. He looked into his house and was struck with amazement. The sideboard was well replenished; in one place was spread a cloth, and on the cloth were many different kinds of tempting dishes. He looked and saw the frog in its place croaking. He said to himself that his sisters-in-law must have done this for him, and went to his work again. He was out all day working, and when he came home he always found everything prepared for him.

Once he said to himself, "I will see for once who is this unseen benefactor, who comes to do good to me and look after me." That day he stayed at home; he seated himself on the roof of the house and watched. In a short time the frog leaped out of the fireplace, jumped over to the doors, and all around the room. Seeing no one there, it went back and took off the frog's skin, put it near the fire, and came forth a beautiful maiden, fair as the sun; so lovely was she that the man could not imagine anything prettier. In the twinkling of an eye she had tidied everything, prepared the food, and cooked it. When everything was ready, she went to the fire, put on the skin again, and began to croak. When the man saw this he was very much astonished; he rejoiced exceedingly that God had granted him such happiness. He descended from the roof, went in, caressed his frog tenderly, and then sat down to his tasty supper.

The next day the man hid himself in the place where he had been the day before. The frog, having satisfied itself that nobody was there, stripped off its skin and began its good work. This time the man stole silently into the house, seized the frog's skin in his hand and threw it into the fire. When the maiden saw this she entreated him, she wept, and she said, "Do not burn it, or you shall surely be destroyed," but the man had burned it in a moment. "Now, if your happiness be turned to misery, it is not my fault," said the sorrow-stricken woman.

In a very short time the whole countryside knew that the man who had a frog now possessed in its place a lovely woman, who had come to him from heaven.

The lord of the country heard of this, and wished to take her from him. He called the beautiful woman's husband to him and said, "Sow a barnful of wheat in a day, or give me your wife." When he had spoken thus, the man was obliged to consent, and he went home melancholy.

When he went in he told his wife what had taken place. She reproached him, saying, "I told you what would happen if you did burn the skin, and you did not heed me; but I will not blame you. Be not sad; go in the morning to the edge of the lake from which I came, and call out, 'Mother and Father! I pray you, lend me your swift bullocks.' Lead them away with you, and the bullocks will in one day plow the fields and sow the grain." The husband did this.

He went to the edge of the lake and called out, "Mother and Father! I entreat you, lend me your swift bullocks today." There came forth from the lake such a team of oxen as was never seen on sea or land.

The youth drove the bullocks away, came to his lord's field, and plowed and sowed them in one day.

His lord was very much surprised. He did not know if there was anything impossible to this man, whose wife he wanted. He called him a second time, and said, "Go and gather up the wheat you have sown, that not a grain may be wanting, and that the barn may be full. If you do not do this, your wife is mine."

"This is impossible," said the man to himself. He went home to his wife, who again reproached him, and then said, "Go to the lake's edge and ask for the jackdaws."

The husband went to the edge of the lake and called out, "Mother and Father! I beg you to lend me your jackdaws today." From the lake came forth flocks of jackdaws; they flew to the plowed ground, each gathered up a seed and put it into the barn.

The lord came and cried out, "There is one seed short; I know each one, and one is missing." At that moment a jackdaw's caw was heard; it came with the missing seed, but owing to a lame foot it was a little late.

The lord was very angry that even the impossible was possible to this man, and could not think what to give him to do.

He puzzled his brain until he thought of the following plan. He called the man and said to him, "My mother, who died in this village, took with her a ring. If you go to the other world and bring that ring back to me, it is well; if not, I shall take away your wife."

The man said to himself, "This is quite impossible." He went home and complained to his wife. She reproached him, and then said, "Go to the lake and ask for the ram."

The husband went to the lake and called out, "Mother and Father! Give me your ram today, I pray you." From the lake there came forth a ram with twisted horns; from its mouth issued a flame of fire. It said to the man, "Mount on my back!"

The man sat down, and, quick as lightning, the ram descended towards the lower regions. It went on and shot like an arrow through the earth.

They traveled on, and saw in one place a man and woman sitting on a bullock's skin, which was not big enough for them, and they were like to fall off. The man called out to them, "What can be the meaning of this, that this bullock skin is not big enough for two people?"

They said, "We have seen many pass by like you, but none has returned. When you come back we shall answer your question."

They went on their way and saw a man and woman sitting on an ax handle, and they were not afraid of falling. The man called out to them, "Are you not afraid of falling from the handle of an ax?"

They said to him, "We have seen many pass by like you, but none has returned. When you come back we shall answer your question."

They went on their way again, until they came to a place where they saw a priest feeding cattle. This priest had such a long beard that it spread over the ground, and the cattle, instead of eating grass, fed on the priest's beard, and he could not prevent it. The man called out, "Priest, what is the meaning of this? Why is your beard pasture for these cattle?"

The priest replied, "I have seen many pass by like you, but none has returned. When you come back I shall answer your question."

They journeyed on again until they came to a place where they saw nothing but boiling pitch, and a flame came forth from it -- and this was hell. The ram said, "Sit firmly on my back, for we must pass through this fire." The man held fast. The ram gave a leap, and they escaped through the fire unhurt.

There they saw a melancholy woman seated on a golden throne. She said; "What is it, my child? What troubles you? What has brought you here?" He told her everything that had happened to him. She said, "I must punish this very wicked child of mine, and you must take him a casket from me." She gave him a casket, and said, "Whatever you do, do not open this casket yourself. Take it with you, give it to your lord, and run quickly away from him."

The man took the casket and went away. He came to the place where the priest was feeding the cattle. The priest said, "I promised you an answer. Hearken unto my words: In life I loved nothing but myself; I cared for nothing else. My flocks I fed on other pastures than my own, and the neighboring cattle died of starvation. Now I am paying the penalty."

Then he went on to the place where the man and woman were sitting on the handle of the ax. They said, "We promised you an answer. Hearken unto our words: We loved each other too well on earth, and it is the same with us here."

Then he came to the two seated on the bullock skin, which was not big enough for them. They said, "We promised you an answer. Hearken unto our words: We despised each other in life, and we equally despise each other here."

At last the man came up on earth, descended from the ram, and went to his lord. He gave him the casket and quickly ran away. The lord opened the casket, and there came forth fire, which swallowed him up. Our brother was thus victorious over his enemy, and no one took his wife from him. They lived lovingly together, and blessed God as their deliverer.

This story speaks of many emotions from desire to being faithfull and true to your word. Read the old stories to children, gift them with the words and discuss their meaning. It will return to you in many ways.

Women who are 40+

A friend emailed this to me. Being 40 myself, I really appreciate it:-)
Written by Andy Rooney - CBS 60 Minutes As I grow in age, I value women who are over 40 most of all.

Here are just a few reasons why:

A woman over 40 will not lay next to you in bed and ask, "What are you thinking?" She doesn't care what you think.

If a woman over 40 doesn't want to watch the game, she doesn't sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do. And, it's usually something more interesting.

A woman over 40 knows herself well enough to be assured in who she is, what she is, what she wants and from whom. Few women past the age of 40 give a damn what you might think about her or what she's doing.

Women over 40 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you, if they think they can get away with it.

Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it's like to be unappreciated.

A woman over 40 has the self-assurance to introduce you to her women friends. A younger woman with a man will often ignore even her best friend because she doesn't trust the guy with other women.

Women over 40 couldn't care less if you're attracted to her friends because she knows her friends won't betray her.

Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman over 40. They always know.

A woman over 40 looks good wearing bright red lipstick. This is not true of younger women or drag queens.

Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 40 is far sexier than her younger counterpart.

Older women are forthright and honest. They'll tell you right off if you are a jerk if you are acting like one! You don't ever have to wonder where you stand with her.

Yes, we praise women over 40 for a multitude of reasons.

Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed hot woman of 40+, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 18-year-old waitress. Ladies, I apologize.

For all those men who say, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free." Here's an update for you. Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage, why? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig, just to get a little sausage.

I Love Her, But...

I received this in my email from a friend, and want to share it:
I Love Her, But...
(A collection of men's thoughts on their women.)

... she has an uncanny way of standing between me and the television
screen. Bases loaded, two strikes, three balls. The crowd goes wild, the
pitch flies, and all I can see is her butt. --Howard, Dodge City, Kan.

... she was furious when I got up early once and made her breakfast.
Called me controlling. How dare I decide that she would eat breakfast,
let alone what she'd have? --Ted, Wexford, Pa.

... what's mine is hers. I buy her negligees; she sleeps in my T-shirts.
When she's cold she wears my wool socks to bed, never her own. She
steals my half-used razors; new ones are too sharp. She even wears my
boxers. I'm tempted to switch to briefs just to see what she'd do.
--Dave, Martha's Vineyard, Mass.

... she makes lists. Things to buy. Things to do. People to call. If
it's not on the list, it doesn't get done. Once, to be funny, I put
"sex" on the list. Mistake. Now it has to be on the list, or it doesn't
get done. --Nick, Wheeling, W.Va.

... you can hear her eat soup from the next room.
--Bruce, Bridgewater, N.J.

... when she gets an idea in her head, there's no stopping her. And no
rest for anyone until it's done. It's not so bad when the idea is to
bake cookies, or even to go on vacation. But when it's to build a new
house, or to get pregnant, things get pretty intense. --Jim, Minneapolis

... my wife thinks everyone should be a vegetarian. During meals, she
asks people how they can eat dead cows, or if they know that their pork
chops used to be smarter than their dogs. --Miles, Shreveport, La.

... every so often boom! she's a brunette. Or I come home to a redhead.
Actually, I have no idea what her natural color is. --Cary, Seattle

... she'll brush her teeth but she won't go to the dentist. She says
she's not afraid of the pain, she just doesn't want to put herself in
the hands of any fellow who'd choose to be a dentist. --Terence, Gary,

... she's stopped shaving her legs. She says that now people will know
she's a natural blonde. --Ned, Tucson, Ariz.

... she takes her half of the bed out of the middle.
-Robin, Gladwyne, Pa.

... have you ever seen a woman with green crust and slime smeared over
her face, dark holes for her nostrils? Do you think you'd be able to
sleep at night, knowing that creature is next to you? --Arthur, Cedar
City, Utah

... my wife's allergic to everything. Her nose is chronically stuffed.
If I kissed her on the mouth, she'd suffocate. --Bryan, Toledo, Ohio

... after sex, I mean the second after, she continues where she left
off. Her eyes open and before you can breathe, you hear, " ... and, oh,
yeah, I have to defrost the chicken, and your mother wants you to pick
up her dry cleaning ..." --Jimmy, Fort Lauderdale, Fla.

... in bed I'm her high school teacher, captain of the football team,
her boss, the bad boy, a waiter, a lifeguard, a telephone repairman, a
cop. Once in a while I'd like to be me. --Neil, Orlando, Fla.

... she wears these false eyelashes. She left 'em lying around and I
slammed 'em with my newspaper, tried to kill the damn things. Scared me
half to death. --Gordon, Oklahoma City, Okla.

... she takes those soaps too seriously. I'll come home and find her in
tears because some character died. Or upset that some nonexistent guy's
having a fictional affair. --Archie, St. Louis

... she will not shop at discount stores or sales. She thinks they're
crowded and plebeian. She doesn't even look at the reduced rack, other
than, perhaps, for gifts for my mother. --Conrad, Wilmington, Del.

... it annoys her that our children look like me.
--James, New Orleans

... counting my wife and our teenage girls, that's four women.
Somebody's always got PMS. --Everett, Little Rock, Ark.

... with five kids, I don't have time to complain about my wife. I don't
have time to notice her. --Bob, Charleston, W.Va.

27 April 2005

West Virginia

I received this email from a friend and want to share it:

This is the best email (or story for that matter) that I have ever heard
about WV!!! I'm loving it!!

Because of our mountains, we have rivers. The oldest river in the
Western Hemisphere, the New River (quite appropriately named, don't
you think) ends in West Virginia. We have the Gauley River, which
confluence's with the New River in a magnificent cascade to form the
Kanawha River, which in turn flows through the center of the state,
and directly through the capital city of Charleston, the largest city
in West Virginia.
These rivers in addition to the Cheat, Blackwater, Tygart,
Monongahela, Ohio and countless others offer tremendous recreational

The tallest building in Charleston is barely 25 floors tall! , which, if
you think about it, is a plus; how could you possibly build a
skyscraper more beautiful than a mountain?

The capital city stretches throughout the long river valley
encompassing both hill and dale.

The Charleston airport, the largest in the state, sits on top of a
mountain. The crime rate in Charleston, including the entire
population of the Kanawha Valley (around 200,000), reflects that of
the entire state, the lowest in America. No more than a handful of
murders are committed each year.

Charleston has no subway systems, but, truth be known, you can get
from one end of town to the other, even in rush hour traffic, in less
than ten minutes.

There are three major interstate systems going through Charleston, the
smallest city in America to make such a claim.

The entire state has six! different interstate systems, meaning, from
Charleston, you can reach Cleveland, Columbus, Cincinnati, Pittsburgh,
Louisville or Charlotte in four hours or less....

Ah, but once you leave the interstates, the drive becomes a thing of
wonder. Two lane roads, winding up and down the mountains, offer
amazing views and historic places, small towns, poor in wealth but
rich in history.

West Virginia is the birthplace of Mother's Day, in Grafton; and
Father's Day, in Fairmont.

We have the oldest covered bridge still in use. We have walnut
festivals. strawberry festivals, apple festivals and pumpkin festivals
and buckwheat festivals , and arts and crafts fairs and stern wheel
regattas and ramp dinners.

We have Bridge Day, on the New River Gorge bridge over 800 feet above
the New River; the only standing structure in the United States that,
one day a year, allows parachuting and ! bungee jumping.

We have college basketball, and minor league baseball and hockey, and,
just like all of America, Friday night high school football.

We have white water rafting, and skiing, and hiking, and caves, and
waterfalls, and camping in every direction. We have Sundays where a
leisurely drive in the car can take eight hours, and only cover 100

We have bed and breakfasts, and resorts, and golf courses, and
museums, and the Greenbrier Hotel. West Virginia has more natural
beauty and wonder than any person could ever imagine.

We have all of this, and yet .... our greatest asset is our people.
West Virginians are good people. We care about each other. We talk to
our neighbors over the backyard fence.

We grow tomatoes for the entire neighborhood.

We turn around in each other's drivew! ays, and yell "howdy" when we

We sit o n the porch on warm summer evenings, listening to crickets,
and watching kids catch fireflies.

We loan a hammer, or a cup of sugar. We don't take two-hour lunches,
but we do spend a few minutes each day with a cup of coffee, and our
feet up on our desk, shooting the breeze.

We rarely get in a hurry. We have relatives just down the street. We
don't just loan someone a socket wrench, we help them fix their car.
We share recipes, and gardening tips, and our last cup of coffee. We
baby sit each other's kids, we house sit each other's dogs while we're
on vacation, and we loan each other our cars if we have to get to the

We ask each other if we need anything as we're going to the market.

We celebrate each others accomplishments, and we cry over each ! other's

We are a friendly folk. We are West Virginians.

Mountaineers are always free.! Free to take the time to enjoy life,
and hold each moment in our hearts, forever.

If you are proud to be a West Virginian, then pass this on. If you are
ashamed to be a native West Virginian, then shame on you..

26 April 2005

Keep it Simple

I received an email from a friend of a friend who sent this...I think it is a brilliant lesson:

One of the most memorable case studies on Japanese
management was the case of the empty soap box, which
happened in one of Japan's biggest cosmetics
companies. The company received a complaint that a
consumer had bought a soap box that was empty.
Immediately the authorities isolated the problem to
the assembly line, which transported all the packaged
boxes of soap to the delivery department. For some
reason, one soap box went through the assembly line
empty. Management asked its engineers to solve the
problem. Post-haste, the engineers worked hard to
devise an X-ray machine with high-resolution monitors
manned by two people to watch all the soap boxes that
passed through the line to make sure they were not
empty. No doubt, they worked hard and they worked fast
but they spent whoopee amount to do so.

But when a rank-and-file employee in a small company
was posed with the same problem, did not get into
complications of X-rays, etc but instead came out with
another solution. He bought a strong industrial
electric fan and pointed it at the assembly line. He
switched the fan on, and as each soap box passed the
fan, it simply blew the empty boxes out of the line.

Moral of the story: KISS (Keep It Simple, Stupid)
i.e.always look for simple solutions. Devise the
simplest possible solution that solves the problem :-)

So, learn to focus on solutions not on problems "If
you look at what you do not have in life, you don't
have anything" "If you look at what you have in life,
you have everything"

22 April 2005

Stages Of Life

My neighbor emailed this to me...too funny:

1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
2) When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.
4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandpa's lap.

1) Raising teenagers is like nailing Jell-O to a tree.
2) Wrinkles don't hurt.
3) Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.
5) Laughing is good e xercise. It's like jogging on the inside.
6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy.

1) Growing up is mandatory; growing old is optional.
2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down there.
4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.
7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.

1) You believe in Santa Claus.
2) You don't believe in Santa Claus.
3) You are Santa Claus.
4) You look like Santa Claus.

At age 4 success is . . . not peeing in your pants.
At age 12 success is . . . having friends.
At age 16 success is . . . having a drivers license.
At age 35 success is . . . having money.
At age 50 success is . . . having money.
At age 70 success is . . . having a drivers license.
At age 75 success is . . . having friends.
At age 80 success is . . . not peeing in your pants.

Always remember to forget the troubles that pass your way; BUT NEVER forget the blessings that come each day.

Have a wonderful day with many *smiles*

Take the time to live!!!

Life is too short

18 April 2005


Here is a poem I received from my dad:

If I could catch a rainbow
I would do it just for you
and share
with you its beauty
On the days you're feeling blue.

If I could
build a mountain
You could call your very own;
A place to find serenity,
A place to be alone.

If I could take your troubles
I would toss
them in the sea,
But all these things I'm finding
are impossible for me.

I cannot build a mountain
Or catch a rainbow fair,
But let me be
what I know best,
A friend who's always there.

True Friend

A new friend here in Perryopolis emailed this to me, and I am sharing it with you:

True Friend

A girl asked a guy if he thought she was pretty, He said...no.

She asked him if he would want to be with her forever.... and he said no.

She then asked him if she were to leave would he cry, and once again he replied with a no.

She had heard enough. As she walked away, tears streaming down her face the boy grabbed her arm and said....

You're not pretty you're beautiful.

I don't want to be with you forever, I need to be with you forever.

And I wouldn't cry if you walked away...I'd die.

Remember: "A good friend will not come bail you out of jail....But a true friend will be sitting next to you saying ... WE screwed up! Proud to be your Friend!

  • I've learned...That life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.
  • I 've learned...That we should be glad God doesn't give us every thing we ask for.
  • I've learned...That money doesn't buy class.
  • I've learned...That it's those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular.
  • I've learned...That under everyone's hard shell is someone who wants to be appreciated and loved.
  • I've learned...That the Lord didn't do it all in one day. What makes me think I can?
  • I've learned...That to ignore the facts does not change the facts.
  • I've learned...That when you plan to get even with someone, you are only letting that person continue to hurt you.
  • I've learned...That love, not time, heals all wounds.
  • I've learned...That the easiest way for me to grow as a person is to surround myself with people smarter than I am.
  • I've learned...That everyone you meet deserves to be greeted with a smile.
  • I've learned...That there's nothing sweeter than sleeping with your babies and feeling their breath on your cheeks.
  • I've learned...That no one is perfect until you fall in love with them.
  • I've learned...That life is tough, but I'm tougher.
  • I've learned...That opportunities are never lost; someone will take the ones you miss.
  • I've learned...That when you harbor bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere.
  • I've learned...That I wish I could have told those I cared about that I love them one more time before they passed away.
  • I've learned...That one should keep his words both soft and tender, because tomorrow he may have to eat them.
  • I've learned...That a smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks.
  • I've learned...That I can't choose how I feel, but I can choose what I do about it.
  • I've learned...That when your newly born child holds your little finger in his little fist, that you're hooked for life.
  • I've learned...That everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness, and growth occurs while you're climbing it.
  • I've learned...That the less time I have to work, the more things I get done.

05 April 2005


"Lose a friend; lose all friends; lose self." This was a quote from Boy Meets World.

04 April 2005

Florida Living Will Form

My dad emailed this to me:


I, __________________________________ (fill in the blank), being of sound mind and body, unequivocally declare that in the event of a catastrophic injury, I do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means. I hereby instruct my loved ones and relatives to remove any and all life-support systems, once it has been determined that my brain is no longer functioning in a cognizant realm. However that judgment should be made only after thorough consultation with medical experts; i.e., individuals who actually have been trained, educated and certified as doctors.

Under no circumstances -- and I can't state this too strongly -- should my fate be put in the hands of peckerwood politicians who couldn't pass ninth-grade biology if their lives depended on it. Furthermore, it is my firm hope that, whenever 'the time' does comes, any discussion about terminating my medical treatment should remain private and confidential.

Living in Florida, however, I am acutely aware that the legislative and executive branches of state government are fond of meddling in family matters, and have little concern for the privacy and dignity of individuals.

Therefore, I wish to make my views on this subject as clear and unambiguous as possible. Recognizing that some politicians seem cerebrally challenged themselves (and with no medical excuse), I'll try to keep this simple and to the point:

1. While remaining sensitive to the feelings of any loved ones who might cling to hope for my recovery, let me state that if a reasonable amount of time passes -- say, ________ (fill in the blank) months -- and I fail to sit up and ask for a cold beer, it should be presumed that I won't ever get better.

2. When such a determination is reached, I hereby instruct my spouse, children and attending physicians to pull the plug, reel in the tubes and call it a day.

3. Under no circumstances shall the members of the Legislature enact a special law to keep me on life-support machinery. It is my wish that these boneheads will mind their own damn business, and pay attention instead to the health, education and the future of the millions of Floridians who aren't in a permanent coma.

4. Under no circumstances shall any governor of Florida butt into this case and order my doctors to put a feeding tube down my throat. I don't care how many fundamentalist votes he's trying to scrounge. It is my wish that he plays politics with someone else's life and leaves me to die in peace.

5. I couldn't care less if a hundred religious zealots send e-mails to legislators in which they pretend to care about me. I don't know these people, and I certainly haven't authorized them to preach and crusade on my behalf. They should mind their own business, too.

6. It is my heartfelt wish to expire quietly and without a public spectacle. This is obviously impossible once any elected officials become involved. So, while recognizing the wrenching emotions that attend the prolonged death of a loved one, I hereby instruct my relatives to settle all disagreements about my care in private or in the courts, as provided by law.

If any of my family goes against my wishes and turns my case into a political cause, I hereby promise to come back from the grave and make his or her existence a fu..... hell. (something you can't say on the Internet)..and for GOD's SAKE, keep that damn Jesse Jackson away from me!!!