02 December 2003

Freaky Friday

It was great to see my parents. Mom gave me a wedding card with a lot of cash in it, which we later used a little more than a third of to pay for the pizza. After rehearsing twice, we decorated and everyone else ate (I was too nervous to eat.) John went to Larry & Debbie's after they escorted me to the motel. After checking in, I went to Mom & Dad's room and talked with them. They were already in bed. Then I went up to my room. It was after midnight. I carried the dress up the the room along with all my make-up and hair stuff. I tried to go to bed. I checked the clock every hour to see if it was time to get up yet. At 5 a.m. I phoned down to the front desk to cancel my wake-up call. I was up.

I noticed I forgot shampoo, toothbrush, toothpaste...you know, the essentials. So I went down to the front desk and got an essentials bag of stuff for 5 dollars which I put on my motel bill. Then I got some coffee. A little later, Mom came up to my room and ironed my wedding dress, slip, vale. The closer the time came, the more nervous I got. Mom later phoned me that she had paid my motel bill and for me not to worry about it. That was so sweet and I was very grateful, but I felt guilty about it. It was terrific when dad came up to help me carry stuff down to the car. I had not seen them in a few years, so it was really terrific to see them. I am so glad that they were able to drive down and be there, concidering that at first they were not going to be able to make it.

My mom showed up pictures of her grandchildren, which I do not know. It was actually the first time I had ever seen a picture of them. Then I saw a picture of my sister's bridal shower and felt annoyed than there were members of my dad's family that made it to my sister's bridal shower but they did even bother to send a card or email one for the wedding. Then the entire time during the rehearsal, I heard a lot about my sister and her wedding and her sons. It brought back a lot of hurt from childhood when my sister cried wanting something of mine, my mom would give it to her to get her quiet. I know it sounds petty of me, but I did not go to prom or anything else like that in high school. And then at my own wedding, it was still about my sister. The next day, during the rehearsal, my sister called my dad 3 times on his cell phone because she wanted to know when he was coming back so her could watch her son. It hurt. It made me wonder if my parents were there for me, or if it was because of my grandmother. I do not know. And that hurts also.

The movers called and will try to get us moved quickly. They first tried a mover that was in our town. I guess he does not need the money. So they got a mover that is further south and seems a lot nicer. We should be moving within the week, at least our stuff will be moved. We still have to keep this apartment and clean it up. I see a lot of cleaning in my future. The day after the wedding, I had to go do laundry so John would have clean clothes to wear to work. Not exactly the way I wanted to honeymoon. Things will get better. We already had our first wedding blowup the day after the wedding. I thought being married would be like living together. It is not. It feels much different. And it has only been 3 days.

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