05 December 2003

Have a wonderful Christmas!

The mail system in Pennsylvania is seriously messed up, and when our landlord, John Polander, gave us the list of things to set up, he never mentioned mail. He gave us the mailing address as though it is the physical apartment address. I found out from the cable company that mail was being sent back, so I phoned the post office and talked to Mike Reeping, the Post Master of Perryopolis, who told me that it was because they did not know us and we had to have a P.O.Box. The post office is only open from 7am to 5pm Monday through Friday and 7am to 3pm Saturday according the the Post Master there. But when John stopped at the post office on his way to work a little after 7am, it was still locked up so he could not get the mail. This is so nuts. Isn't is a constitutional right to be able to get mail?

02 December 2003

Finally - the Rules from a masculine point of view

I got this email from my dad and thought it was funny. Plus I hear these same complaints a lot from my husband. It took me a while to teach him the first number 1, and he has never had his butt hit the water in the middle of the night going to the bathroom. And if shopping is not a sport, neither is deer hunting.

"Finally, the guys side of the story.  We always hear "the rules" from the female side.  Now here are   the rules from the male side.  (Please note...   these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!)

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hea r us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the
tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.
That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't
expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a
fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like
nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth
the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an
answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine ... Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too ma ny shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the
couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, it's
like camping.

Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.

Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger

Freaky Friday

It was great to see my parents. Mom gave me a wedding card with a lot of cash in it, which we later used a little more than a third of to pay for the pizza. After rehearsing twice, we decorated and everyone else ate (I was too nervous to eat.) John went to Larry & Debbie's after they escorted me to the motel. After checking in, I went to Mom & Dad's room and talked with them. They were already in bed. Then I went up to my room. It was after midnight. I carried the dress up the the room along with all my make-up and hair stuff. I tried to go to bed. I checked the clock every hour to see if it was time to get up yet. At 5 a.m. I phoned down to the front desk to cancel my wake-up call. I was up.

I noticed I forgot shampoo, toothbrush, toothpaste...you know, the essentials. So I went down to the front desk and got an essentials bag of stuff for 5 dollars which I put on my motel bill. Then I got some coffee. A little later, Mom came up to my room and ironed my wedding dress, slip, vale. The closer the time came, the more nervous I got. Mom later phoned me that she had paid my motel bill and for me not to worry about it. That was so sweet and I was very grateful, but I felt guilty about it. It was terrific when dad came up to help me carry stuff down to the car. I had not seen them in a few years, so it was really terrific to see them. I am so glad that they were able to drive down and be there, concidering that at first they were not going to be able to make it.

My mom showed up pictures of her grandchildren, which I do not know. It was actually the first time I had ever seen a picture of them. Then I saw a picture of my sister's bridal shower and felt annoyed than there were members of my dad's family that made it to my sister's bridal shower but they did even bother to send a card or email one for the wedding. Then the entire time during the rehearsal, I heard a lot about my sister and her wedding and her sons. It brought back a lot of hurt from childhood when my sister cried wanting something of mine, my mom would give it to her to get her quiet. I know it sounds petty of me, but I did not go to prom or anything else like that in high school. And then at my own wedding, it was still about my sister. The next day, during the rehearsal, my sister called my dad 3 times on his cell phone because she wanted to know when he was coming back so her could watch her son. It hurt. It made me wonder if my parents were there for me, or if it was because of my grandmother. I do not know. And that hurts also.

The movers called and will try to get us moved quickly. They first tried a mover that was in our town. I guess he does not need the money. So they got a mover that is further south and seems a lot nicer. We should be moving within the week, at least our stuff will be moved. We still have to keep this apartment and clean it up. I see a lot of cleaning in my future. The day after the wedding, I had to go do laundry so John would have clean clothes to wear to work. Not exactly the way I wanted to honeymoon. Things will get better. We already had our first wedding blowup the day after the wedding. I thought being married would be like living together. It is not. It feels much different. And it has only been 3 days.