18 July 2007

Happy Birthday to Me




Monday was my 43rd birthday. It was really nice of Pop Ullom to send me a $25 check and birthday card for my birthday, and it was really nice of my parents to send me a $50 check and birthday card for my birthday. It was kind of weird though...my dad wrote in the card "Have a very nice birthday best try not to get as old as us :-) Love Mom & Dad". What does "best try not to get as old as us" suppose to mean?

I have been feeling really drained & depressed, not even wanted to get on the Internet. Let me start from the beginning...

First of all, my birthday has never really been a time for celebration except for when I was 8 years old (in the picture above) & my dad was still alive. See, I grew up with the "Count curse". I was told for as long as I remember that for 6 generations, when the oldest child, who was always a son, was 7 years old, the father would die. My dad was expecting me to be a boy because of the "curse", so when I was born female, there were people in my dad's family who openly doubted I was my father's daughter.

My dad was completely prepared to die when I was 7 years old. He took out life insurance, had a will drawn up, and even had a professional family photo taken when I was 6 years old.

We did not celebrate my birthdays and it was treated like a curse also. But then I turned 8 years old and my dad was still alive. So my parents threw a birthday party for me/dad still being alive/my sister being born and coming home from the hospital party.

That was the first and last birthday of mine my family ever celebrated. I remember when I was turning 9, I heard my mom bring it up to my dad, but my dad said that I had a birthday party the year before and did not need another birthday party.

I turned 13 in Calabria, Italy. Day before my birthday, a couple of guys from the U.S. Coast Guard base riding their mopeds, got side swiped by a car and had to be flown to Germany for emergency surgery. "Cookie" was really sweet though. "Cookie" was the cook on base, and he baked me a cake, and brought it out to me for my birthday.

Then a week before my 20th birthday, I was woken up at 6 a.m. by the rapist I was then married to and one of his friends, told "happy birthday, you are going to have your first orgasm". I yelled "no", and tried to fight back, but leverage was against me, and there were 2 of them.

The wonderful guy I am married to now, & I, want to have children. Time is not on our side. And each birthday I have now makes it less likely we will have the family we want.

That is stress enough...now to add to it...

30 June 2005, I was stopped at a red light. A company van from Blume's rear ended me. He never bothered to try stopping. So I got whiplash, and spent a lot of money on medical bills. My insurance only paid up to $5,000.00, then the rest was transferred to my health insurance and me. My health insurance then filed an adium, then whatever money I was reimbursed for medical expenses, they would be paid first.

I am still seeing doctors for my neck, and still have problems from it.

There is only a 2 year statute of limitations, and National Penn Insurance (Blume's car insurance company) told me I had to pay the bills first, then they would reimburse me. So I gathered the bills I had relating to the car accident, and sent it in overnight mail. This was in June.

I called John Null of National Penn Insurance who was handling the claim on Friday, and he said that the bills were too expensive, and he was going to have to decide which ones he would reimburse me for and which ones would not be reimbursed. He said this would take a few months, but that I would not be reimbursed for all my medical expenses related to the accident. So even though I was completely following the law, and the van hit me, I would still have to pay much of the expenses relating to the accident according to Mr. Null.

And he is completely ignoring the lost wage expense and travel to and from the doctors expense.

Our system is really messed up.

Then to top this all off like I did not have enough stress...

I called Capital One Auto finance to see what my pay off amount was since we only have 2 months left on our loan. When I said, "when I pay this off, you will report to the credit reporting agencies that the car is paid off, and that we paid on time every month, right?" The woman on the other end said "no", we don't have to. So I asked to talk to the supervisor, and he said that because we filed bankruptcy a few years ago, they can continue to put in our credit report every month that we filed bankruptcy, but they do not have to put in that we made out car payments on time every month, or that we paid the car off.

The only reason we filed bankruptcy to begin with was because my husband was laid off work on Halloween 2002. I saw on the Oprah Winfrey show about credit, and contacting credit card agencies to request suspending rates for different reasons. So I called MBNA to let them know my husband (fiance at the time) was laid off work, which was a huge mistake. As soon as I did that, the credit card companies raised the interest rates to 28% claiming we were suddenly high risk. I had no idea they could do that, but apparently, they can, and they did.

I continued to pay the credit cards, but could not catch up at those rates. Then a mortgage broker told us that we should file bankruptcy because it would take us 40 years to pay off the credit cards, and we would never be able to buy a house. So reluctantly, we filed bankruptcy because of the credit cards.

The weird thing is...when my husband got the job he has now, his old job that laid him off wanted him back. They said they made a mistake in laying him off.

So that leaves us to where we are today...



  • Companies can report whatever they like to credit reporting agencies, and our government seems to let them get away with it.

  • People can rear end us and get away with it, and we get left holding much of the expense.

Things for me could be worse though...I could be a military veteran in the United States.

3 comments:

  1. When I read the story about your birthday I realise why you said this isn´t something to celebrate.

    I hope it will change the next birthday with good news to you and your husband. When I read what you write about him, I believe that he´s a very sweet and caring man, and with sense of humor too. You are lucky to find each other. Remember it every day.

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  2. Helen, You should feel grateful, they forgot my birthday (smile) they forget it alot! hahaha. And Jhn and I don't get money sent to us for our birthdays we get a phone call. In my cae the next day HAHAHA.

    I believe mom and dad did the best they knew how raising us. I have to say none of us have been in prison or commited any crimes we treat people how we want to be treated etc... So all and all I have to say our parents did OK. Like I sadi they did the best they knew how. I don't agree with everything either how we grew up, but I've learned from being a mom, that its not easy, and you do the best you can. I make a big deal about their birthdays due to the fact we never really had birthday parties etc... but I still get excited for birthdays. It's the day you were born everyone birthday is worth celebrating, celebrating their life! Our parents just don't look at it that way is all, they see it as getting OLD!! I love them regardless, and feel bad we didn't have or get to do alot of things but on the other hand, there's still plenty of time to do those things now! (smile)

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  3. Thanks Pichi & Julie for your comments.

    Pichi, thanks for what you said about my husband. I believe he is a wonderful guy also, and am very grateful we found each other.:-)

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