13 June 2004

Why God Created Children

My dad emailed this to me today. I think he was trying to tell me something.;-):

WHY GOD CREATED CHILDREN (AND IN THE PROCESS
GRANDCHILDREN)


To those of us who have children in our lives,
whether they are our own,
grandchildren, nieces, nephews, or students...here
is something to make
you chuckle. Whenever your children are out of
control, you can take
comfort from the thought that even God's omnipotence
did not extend to
His own children After creating heaven and earth,
God created Adam and
Eve. And the first thing he said was "DON'T!"

"Don't what?" Adam replied.

"Don't eat the forbidden fruit." God said.

"Forbidden fruit? We have forbidden fruit? Hey
Eve..we have forbidden
fruit!!!!!"

"No Way!"

"Yes way!"

"Do NOT eat the fruit!" said God.

"Why"

"Because I am your Father and I said so!" God
replied, wondering why He
hadn't stopped creation after making the elephants.
A few minutes later,
God saw His children having an apple break and He
was ticked! "Didn't I
tell you not to eat the fruit?" God asked.

"Uh huh," Adam replied.

"Then why did you?" said the Father.

"I don't know," said Eve.

"She started it!" Adam said

"Did not!"

"Did too!"

"DID NOT!"
Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment
was that Adam and
Eve should have children of their own. Thus the
pattern was set and it
has never changed.

BUT THERE IS REASSURANCE IN THE STORY! If you have
persistently and
lovingly tried to give children wisdom and they
haven't taken it, don't
be hard on yourself. If God had trouble raising
children, what makes you
think it would be a piece of cake for you?

THINGS TO THINK ABOUT!

1. You spend the first two years of their life
teaching them to walk and
talk. Then you spend the next sixteen telling them
to sit down and shut
up.

2. Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing
your own children.

3. Mothers of teens now know why some animals eat
their young.

4. Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they
usually repeat word for
word what you shouldn't have said.

5. The main purpose of holding children's parties is
to remind yourself
that there are children more awful than your own.

6. We childproofed our homes, but they are still
getting in.

ADVICE FOR THE DAY: Be nice to your kids. They will
choose your nursing home one day.

AND FINALLY:

IF YOU HAVE A LOT OF TENSION AND YOU GET A HEADACHE,
DO WHAT IT SAYS ON
THE ASPIRIN BOTTLE:


"TAKE TWO ASPIRIN" AND "KEEP AWAY FROM
CHILDREN"!!!!!

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